Quarantine

I don’t talk about my mother much.

Most people in my life know nothing about her.

She died when I was 17.

Sometimes that feels like a few lifetimes ago.

But she’s been on my mind today as I sit quarantined at home, alone….sitting, reading.

That’s what my mother did – for years.

I never really thought about how much until now.

She was diagnosed with MS when I was around 3 or 4.

Then cancer a few years later.

And once she was in a wheelchair,

She was pretty much housebound.

From the time I was 11 years old, she’d spend almost every day at home

Sitting in her chair in the living room.

She’d listen to music and read.

Day after day after day.

She listened to classical music on the public radio station.

She had been a pianist before MS took away her ability to use her hands.

A graduate of music at the University of Toronto,

She was both a professional musician and actor

And she read.

Both she and my father were voracious readers.

My father would go to the library almost weekly

and exchange stacks of books for more stacks of books.

Looking back, I realize I don’t know what she read.

She even belonged to a book group.

Once it became hard for her to go out, they met at our house.

Groups of women, laughing, chatting, and drinking tea.

I had to help get things ready, but have no idea what they talked about

I know she must have read poetry .

After she could no longer play piano she would do poetry readings instead.

And I remember her reading poems to me as a child

“Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night sailed off in a wooden shoe…”

I remember her being eager to talk to me when I got home from school,

Eager for any person-to-person engagement

Eager for stories from the world outside our house.

I understand this now.

As a young child I enjoyed this time with her,

But in my teenage years I was less interested in talking with her

And more interested in going to my room

Turning up the music,

Talking to my friends

And now here I am, safely quarantined at home

While my teenage son is in his room, his music on

Cellphone in his hand

Talking to his friends.

But our time of quarantine is temporary.

If we stay safe, we will leave the house again.

We will go places and do things.

She never did